[10:53:04 PM] kevinze: ..
[10:53:06 PM] kevinze: ...........
[10:53:08 PM] kevinze: ..................
[10:53:15 PM] kevinze: ...............................
[10:53:21 PM] kevinze: WHY CANT I CAPS MY DOTS

This what happens when one is frustrated.

My internet browserS have been screwing up big time.
For example
ATTEMPT NUMBER 1
[ellipses] (google)
PROBLEM LOADING PAGE- THE CONNECTION WAS RESET.


ATTEMPT NUMBER 2
[ellipsesa] (google)

1. Did you mean: ellipses Top 2 results shown

2. Ellipsis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

   The punctuation rules for ellipses are standardized by the PN-83/P-55366 .... Ellipses are often used in an operating system's taskbars or web browser tabs ...
   

   In writing - Typographical rules - In mathematical notation

   en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellipsis - Cached - Similar

What the &$%%&*%&$#@%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Hello guys :). I have been doing extra community work at Bukit Merah Library for two days running, and I must say it has been quite pleasant. I'm basically in-charge of managing the spin-and-win counter, and it's interesting to guess the different personalities of people when they approach the counter. Some spin the wheel forcefully, others effortlessly (with a great spin), and others apprehensively (barely moving a few inches) etc.

Kids nowadays are really smart. They know how to read and write from a young age. Bukit Merah Library is frequented by many young children and whenever they come to the counter to play I can't help but smile at their innocent reactions. The cool thing is that you can afk and read a book when there's nobody at the counter =D. I managed to finish a book called "The Tribe," and it was brilliant.

Another awesome thing is that I met this PSLE 272 NY girl called Su Min. It's just great to meet a junior (do you people have the same experience? <--but I must admit that this applies more for NY/HC). I was taken aback when she said she was sec1. I guess I haven't had much contact with people 13-15 for a long time because I didn't go back SJI. But I'm going to go back during the first week for a boring lecturing session.

I'll end here now. =)

My interpretation:
I started drawing the house, using lines in a way that makes one wonder whether it really qualifies as one. It's there, yet there is no base, no stability, and it has some parts that are missing, and it looks somewhat empty too. The sun is purposely coloured black and annoyingly, an inverted candle seeks to take its place, illuminating the discouraging scene. The cresent moon and the pond have swapped places, but strangely, laws of gravity still apply as seen from a stone dropping into the pond. It gives a feeling of confusion and abandonment, that the world has turned upside down in some areas. Below the facade of the stillwater lies very great frustration and pain. And yes, there is a couple at the left. This drawing reflects a slice of a screwed-up sort of relationship. It is titled "Disillusion."




This drawing is definitely weird. I basically drew this at the library, and while trying to find some inspiration, glanced upon the multiple shadows that my hand and the pen was making due to the many light sources. I varied the height and angle, so the shadows appeared different. The lines are connected in a logical way showing how the pen has moved. There is a giant eagle head in the middle which maybe depicts some sort of aggression? In the middle is a little war map. And perhaps the pen shadows resemble armaments, which are scattered through the picture.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood. I personally tested this out today, and I am amazed at how effective it was. Undoubtedly, it required some sacrifice and restraint on my part, but at the end it was just a matter of perspective. If I didn’t apply it, things could have gotten ugly!

Anyway, I was reading Vera’s blog and I did have some comments, or rather negative judgements, towards it. I should not judge people, but I find it very hard to find an alternative to this. If I do not judge, then what do I do? And this, as I think about it, is not within my human capability at all, but rather of something divine: to be given wisdom and love at the same time such that I think lovingly of another.

There are a lot of things that I do not know. I was talking to yuli from whom I gathered that we should not interfere with the private affairs of other people. I feel much chagrin because that friend in question is someone I care about a lot even though I may not be able to express it, and not just part of the “other people.” People are invariably connected with one another, and I can understand that you may not feel the same way as I do, but please understand me also.

When there are problems with relationships, people like to give cold, hard, practical advice. I also keep attempting to convince myself by speaking to myself in that same way (*fact you should know about Kevin: he likes to think aloud so try not to think him as a weird freak =D). Human beings are fragile creatures (AND not just girls, so please give up any feminist thinking). We want to protect ourselves and our friends understandably, so people tend to give certain pieces of “practical” advice to help. I can understand that, but try not to lose the ability to love in the process and become cynical. What we oftentimes need is the spirit of God so that we can love like God does, as opposed to human love, which is imperfect and conditional. Pray to God about it, so that you can find peace and some sort of reconciliation. He may not take away that suffering, but He will help you to deal with it.

Merry Christmas. The light will dispel the darkness as it gives off itself, just as God does.

Awesome bleach ending song:

Spoilers ahead:

The latest bleach episode was so awesome. Finally the story has some clear direction. For all the horrendous things this mysterious figure Muramasa has done, he suddenly becomes the "victim." And ironically, his own master treats him like a tool. Muramasa called out to other Zanpaktou to follow his command because he said their masters treat them like tools too.

Any relationship can never be built on imagination, unless telepathy is really possible. If we only know a little about that person, that means we don’t know a lot about that person. How can we love what we do not taste, see, touch, feel… and most importantly, know and experience?

I find it painful that people can be so exclusive. If each person can be represented by a ring, then it's as if our rings of fate can never overlap. I hate this. We can't even be friends?

When you find yourself in the pits, left alone and broken, what do you do?

When I look back now, I see the consequences of the choices that I had made when I was younger. I see how one bad choice leads to another. And today, I am experiencing its effects, which aren't easily rectified. Some are permanent. Sometimes I wish I could change those decisions. But that is impossible.

Those choices have influenced who I am today! They have also caused me, partially at least, to miss out on certain opportunities which I really value a lot. A lot of things are not in our control... but I want to take responsibility for those that are.

So, do I give up? Do I say that those opportunities will never come again? Well, never say never. But I would also add that it is very unlikely that the very same chance would come again. So, because of that, do I despair and die? My answer is no. Life is about taking chances, and I'm going to take that chance. And to do that, there must be the uphill process of improvement and change. But to do that, one needs a lot of courage to accept what has happened and turn the pages. It's about how you want to live too.

Carpe Diem.

Some random words:

They all say that time heals all wounds. Even then, scars remain.

Suffering can bring you closer to God if you allow Him to act.

Life is like travelling on roads. Sometimes, we stop at the junction for a while, but go on our separate ways when the light turns green. Other times, we come from different places, but end up at the same destination.

Bella Sera

Hotel room to deposit stuff and change- I paid 20 bucks.
At about 6 plus, the guys went down to the lobby to wait for the girls to finish their makeup!


Signs of extreme boredom while doing so. Took some lame pictures.


Mind your step while taking the photo... right.


See lah... Zhuoyan want to sleep already.


Naisheng modelling with Yen Ngee. =D



After MUCH lagging we finally could meet up at the Swissotel. Yuli actually walked while the other girls cabbed from Excelsior. =X


My eyes look small. Damn.


Picture with Jialin. Take 2!


Shijun took this photo with my camera. Erm.. I don't know what they were doing.


Why do the pictures look so similar... =X. One was taken way early, the other was AFTER the event.



lalala


Zh so shuai.


NgYuLi. Most memorable times were during pw I believe. As intellectual as me (actually smarter -.-).





Very distinctive makeup...


CC WHY YOU HAVE EYE BAGS?


Mok so imba.


KAITAI'S camera is super big and super pro. He told me he can be the photographer for my wedding.


How to act cute 0.0?


This photo is crap! I look so TANNED!!!


I'm gonna miss 08s6q so badly...

CAP AND TRADE- HERE'S THE CAVEAT



Well, I don't really know too much about the ongoing discussion, and my two cents worth would probably be piling grass in a shed (<--this is my newly-coined awesome metaphor; try and figure out what it means and post your answers in the tagboard to the right). Therefore, I'm not qualified to go in-depth on this issue, i.e. this post will be extremely short (and yes, I certainly would avoid the crappy ad nauseam about climate change in GP essays as I always have). Before you go on believing everything in this video, I would ask you to hold your horses first. For a start, the information that has been put into this video is already biased and it's intention is indubitably explicit- to convince you that cap and trade is going to fail! However, whatever the presentor is saying isn't entirely invalidated because of this.

[Quote

sven0110 (1 hour ago)

The most pathetic thing about this video like so many others of its kind, is that it state the issue(s) and offers NO solution. The animation shows what seems to be a family walking in to the Copenhagen meeting and presenting their case... yeah... that will work... enjoy your black jail or worse if you try something like that.

unquote]

I agree that this video offers no alternative solution. It also tries to make you have a false sense of "yeah great I feel darn good now because I oppose cap and trade and because some miracle panacea or "NEW solutions" must be thought of. How inspiring and activating!

What's so bad about the video? Well, the presentor throws in a lot of utopian ideas without saying how they might actually be achieved. Solve the so-called ecological debt? Okay, nice, but where's the money going to come from? In fact, the fundamental problem about CO2 emissions is that people want to get richer and countries want to grow! Okay, let's pretend that it is possible to come to some sort of compromise on emissions for the sake of civilisation. Even then, one has to make sure that any proposed measures are SUSTAINABLE, that people can continue to survive without becoming unemployed, IF caps are introduced. It is very difficult. Imagine you have starving children to feed at home, and elsewhere someone is asking you to give up some of your grain for the survival of the planet. But you see, fundamental, and more notably, IMMEDIATE needs have to be satisfied first. People demand the breakfast. Any solution? I don't know. I'm scared too.

Indeed, the devil is in the details. The loopholes must be corrected, if possible. However, one of the greatest merits about cap and trade, in my opinion, is that it allows the free market to continue operating. And we do know that the free market, albeit it's weaknesses, does reasonably well it answering the three big questions of what to prduce, how to produce and for whom and how much to produce. Is there any better way to allocate resources? I'm not sure: try to think of other ways to allocate carbon dioxide emissions (or regulate). Remember, or goal is to REDUCE the CO2 emissions (without causing other nastier forms of emissions like coal).

Counterargument :)


Well, there are always thngs to criticise. The above video is definitely no exception. I'm just going to give one example of a critique. Regarding the ecological debt issue that I spoke of earlier, the guy linked it to socialism. AND IMMEDIATELY what came to mind was all the evil and horrible allusions to the word "socialism." Communism also came to my mind. And for "isms-wary" people, it's going to be a red flag. Well, I thought about it, and it's not really evil or bad or what. We should help the less fortunate right? The real question is how feasible this can be... After that, the guy DIRECTLY linked freedom to propserity. What? Singapore is not very free, but it's reasonably prosperous too! This is one of the common mistakes of confusing correlation and causality. We shouldn't jump to conclusions, and it was a huge issue for me because he put a stupid equality sign between freedom and prosperity.

I'll conclude this minipost here; it's just FYI. I don't intend to craft any proper conclusion on climate change. But with regards to the video, this is my response, and I also do wish that climate change can be mitigated soon. How? I'm not sure.

End of As- almost

I am feeling tired. After the physics paper 3 today, there is one last physics MCQ paper left on the coming Monday. S6Q went out to Orchard area for a sandwich-packed lunch, took a nice photo, and then split into 2 groups: one to buy Yilin’s present and the other to play LAN. I was in the latter group! LAN wasn’t as fun as I would have liked it to be. After that, I went to play basketball with Zhuoyan, Shijun and SJI friends. It was fine, but left me extra tired, considering that I only had 4 hours of sleep the morning before.

What can I say… the love still runs deep? It’s a kind of an instinct of mine; a stupid one too. However, I shall be very grateful for everything, and not ask for anymore. This, at least, is my conscious choice. The “love” portion isn’t really a conscious one though. Therefore, one cannot trust it. Anyway, if you are reading this, thanks a lot for everything, including being a wonderful desk partner for H2 math (which I had fortuitously found it manageable and had time to let my mind wonder 1.5 metres away). It was a very sweet H2 math exam, MULTIPLIED BY 2 for two papers. And LICHAN, I didn’t realize you were referring to her initially when you asked me who I was going to be sitting next to before the exam. X_X.

Moving on, one of the GREATEST upsets for me was CHEMISTRY. I never thought I had to mention this dreaded word “regret.” Carelessness, lack of time (i.e. rush and get wrong answer), a stubborn tangential way of thinking that cause me to refuse to check the data booklet, plus a lack of practice and some common sense had destroyed my Chem MCQ. And previously, I actually found paper 3 challenging, and lost some marks already. The chances of getting A have severely been diminished, or rather, I would say B is VERY LIKELY, and I am (was) really distraught: even after owning the physics paper 3 today I was actually emo-ing over yesterday’s chemistry. There’s like a needle in your heart and you want to stab it so bad with a dagger. Or maybe your heart has already been stabbed. It sucks to be in this situation. It just sucks. Partly because you have less options with one B (as my mum says), partly because Ms Chua said I was supposed to be getting A and she had confidence in me, partly because I can’t do anything about it now, partly because THAT few marks could have made such a great difference in terms of potential grades and my state of mind, and mainly because I HATE to fail my own expectations. My personality report says that I am not driven enough to succeed. I think it’s time to change that. And juniors please work hard to avoid such "shit" later (I would remind myself at this juncture to devote some time on physics MCQs).

I don’t like examinations. My mind was dying for those "super-mug" papers. My neurological and physical systems were being compromised badly. I can't keep on studying. I usually have to sleep and start "afresh" (it is a bit psychological). And if you reach saturation it is very terrible! My mugging experience was very bad. Very, very bad... Can't think properly and you become sluggish.

Also, although you learn a lot arguably in preparing feverishly for exams, you have to give up a lot of other aspects that aren’t crucial to the exams, by accepting stuff you don’t know as facts and so on. The main thing that I have learnt from As is that we are students for life. We can’t know everything. And we learn from our mistakes (unfortunately a national examination doesn’t really opportune one to do so). Whether it was for Econs or Chem, learning should carry on despite the end of A levels. This is an uphill task as there is no carrot-and-stick, but only your own drive and determination. Don’t you find it pitiful to throw away everything you have learnt? I do. Another reason why it is so difficult is because of the accessibility of teachers. I fear failing and I fear the unknown. But this is “anti-learning” (which is something that examinations breed…). To be a true student is to be willing to fail and learn humbly. Well, it is going to be difficult to keep in contact with teachers if I run into problems, I think. It’s going to be quite strange too. It is a difficult situation, but I must say that my education has benefitted me in so many ways unmentioned.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank God, my teachers and all my well-wishers. Even though you aren't named here, I cherish the little notes, cards, letters, greetings... well-wishes.

Life as an official school student is coming to a close! No more life honeymooon already. We are becoming adults. I have been having an increased frequency of dreams (nightmares) regarding NS. Lichan is going in in about 3 weeks, while I'm going in on the 4th of February. The huge obstacles ahead pale in comparison to exams, really. I hope I can continue living even though life can really suck sometimes. And I pray for the strength to do so!

-in the name of citizen journalism-
-for the sake of argument-
-for my own writing pleasure; capriciousness-
-for THE READER-

I was returning from church with my family just now at approximately 10am when two magnificent red truckers and a smaller, but by no means less grand, white car greeted us at the T junction just after the security post. I was busy sucking on some McCoke so I could not really comprehend the gravity of the situation, but it sunk in later once I swallowed the opaque drink and got out of the car. There were a handful of people on the scene already. But one can model the number of people into an exponential differential equation quite easily. By the next 10 minutes, there were about 100 plus people.


I walked up to the source of worry. It was a block of flats, obviously similar to my own. The stairwells were suffocated with thick smoke, which bellowed out towards the rooftop. The immediate conclusion I drew was that the fire had to be near the middle floors because I could not trace the source of the smoke just yet (science students would obviously think that smoke rises up and not down and hence my conclusion). The middle-lower area was unfortunately obscured by trees, but upon closer inspection, I spotted it.


It was a red window of flame; a prop that garnered all attention and anxiety. Perched on a tightrope, the dancer swayed and shook, and had the crowd on its feet in bated breath. The stage was set; the guns were being placed in position. As it moved, the fire sent ripples of heat and smoke, and awakened the Singapore KAYPOHNESS in everyone there; I was no exception.

Is awesome the right word? I don't know. The stable intensity of the flames was really charming. And I was still sucking on my coke. I loved the thrill of being in the heat of the action. It felt just like our mass evac drills in the past. The leadership aura... Leadership aura is made up of: resoucefulness, supreme alertness, calmness, independence, control and sometimes disdain. That's what I felt; damn that fire.

"Hey Mum, can see the fire there leh."
"Really. Hold this for me and you can go upstairs first. I want to see. So exciting! Got anyone jump down or not?"
"..."



Don't worry guys. It was the shake of my camera that made all the floors look as if they were burning. It was actually the light on each floor. The smoke was what I wanted to capture but it's not very visible here.

Bah. The SCDF people were split into two teams I believe. The team that stayed behind was unplugging the water supply from the ground- those little red contraptions you sometimes walk into on the street when you're not looking. The fire was visibly put out in a couple of minutes WHILE the backup team was still preparing the water- or so I think. I went back upstairs after stealing a couple of shots. Yeap sorry for this crappy ending because it wasn't really that interesting after all you see. =D. Just something novel.

this is very humorous...